


Me and You and the Ocean and the Sky

by reimus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Eren Yeager, Boy x boy, Death, Loss, Love, M/M, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, POV Eren Yeager, POV First Person, Sad, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26194138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reimus/pseuds/reimus
Summary: He somehow felt certain but unsure.Yet he's waiting for something.. someone he doesn't remember.And when he sees how the sky kisses the ocean.He felt somehow relieved from the mistake he can never undo.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Kudos: 12





	Me and You and the Ocean and the Sky

I'm here waiting. I don't know what I'm waiting for. 

I'm just.. waiting

Waiting for  _ someone _ ? No.

Waiting for  _ something _ ? Quite.

I can't identify what that something is.

Each day, each night.

I'm here, sitting.

Alone, by myself and waiting for something I don't  _ quite  _ know.

Funny but I guess, that's how I am  _ feeling _ .

In daytime, I'm on my seat in the same position on the same spot outlooking the same view I see.

It's just that, this day, there are many people coming over and I can tell why.

The skies at the moment are very bright and sunny and clear and the horizon is breath-taking.

Many have laid and arranged their picnic mat and their picnic basket, and a family has gathered in each mat neatly placed on the sand and delighted onto the meal they are bringing.

It was a  _ perfect _ and  _ pure _ scenery, and I was about to shoot my regards back to the ocean when I saw a black cat eyeing me raptly.

Its  _ bluish-grey  _ eyes aren't blinking.

I was astounded in my position and the only thing I was able to do was to stare back.

It was just disturbed by a chap who happen to passed by in front of me

And there was me, back to Earth. 

As soon as the man was gone, I stretched my neck to look for the cat but there was nothing but space where the cat had been.

I toured my sight and found out that it had vanished.

I heaved a sigh and shrugged.

What was I thinking?

I think I'm losing my sanity.

_ Funny. _

I considered yet  _ again _ to check but there's nothing so I gazed back to the distance of the horizon, where the sky kisses the ocean.

I gawked at the heavens and there I saw  _ again _ , those bluish-grey eyes on two round puff of clouds.

It was stunning and lovely.... 

It was beautiful.

I found  _ familiarity _ in them. 

Like I've been longing, yearning, and  _ aching _ for them.

I won't dare to blink, afraid for it to disappear. 

But I have to.

I need to.

I'm required to.

And there it was again,  _ vanished _ as I blinked.

I really am insane, am I not?

Did I just hallucinate? 

_ Funny. _

I spent hours just beholding, watching, and observing the view, thinking deep and bottomless thoughts, losing myself, indulging into some kind of..... _ escapes _ .

I don't know what kind of escapes are those and what do I hide from.

It's like I'm certain with something but I not certain about it.

But this day isn't cooperating on how it appears. The sky abruptly became dark and the rain fell excitedly. 

Something happened to me that day.

  
  


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I opened my eyes, freshly from a deep sleep.

There it was again, the  _ same _ dream I've ever been dreaming since who knows when.

I was confused about the lack of any disruption, is my alarm clock broken?

I've felt like

I don't know faithfully.

I checked the digital clock on my nightstand to find that it's stuck at 6:45..

I glanced at the only window I have in the room where I've seen the harsh sunlight seeping through the slips of the draperies.

I didn't bother to open it up, I might just hurt my eyes. I hate blinding lights anyways.

I undo the covers on me and let my feet touch the ground. I looked down on my toes...

They look like..

Well, they look embarrassing.

I mental noted that I'll go to the nearest parlor to have this fixed.

I stood up to start my day but was surprised to find a black cat in front of me...

I stumbled backwards to my bed but I didn't let myself shout.

_ Is that..? _

_ The same cat on the beach? _

_ In my dream? _

I looked it in the eyes, finding some tensed staring competition, some sense of familiarity but instead of looking back intently, it just gave me a small meow.

And that's when it hits me.

I was..

_ Funny. _

Just a moment ago, I acted like my entire being was held up hostage. I sighed, releasing some tension in my body and stand to approach the cat.

To pet him..

Her? 

I think it is a 'he'. I like to think it that way.

As I was on the verge of touching it, I was giving a reassuring look trying to say that I'll not gonna hurt him.

I crouched down and was so near to reaching its head but he raised its small paw and tapped the back of my hand.

I looked at the little paw in my hand that felt actually tiny and soft and I kind of gonna brush it off when it started to dig his claw into my skin.

I might have been frightened about it but what more shocked my whole human-being is when I heard a small growl and a low deep voice came from it.

**"Don't. Pet. Me."** it declared.

This time I lost it all and started screaming and I moved away from it beating my bed with my head in a crunchy 'tug' sound.

And I opened my eyes..

T'was a dream.

A  _ different _ dream.

In my dream, I dreamed and I woke up. I suddenly checked the time and it holds the time of 6:45.

Oh my.

Am I dreaming again? 

It's so hard to distinguish reality from dreams.

This time, I checked the windows and it is still dark outside but a little bit sunny.

I guess I'm in  _ reality _ .

I didn't bother to put my feet down and first hunt throughout the room expectant of some black cat.

But there's none.

I breathed in relief.

What was I thinking?

Dreams are only dreams and they will never be, not once interrelated with my reality. They are just scenes when I'm asleep so that I won't get bored sleeping.

_ Funny,  _ what do I think I was thinking? 

I just wave it off and set my feet down to find the same toes I've seen in my dream.

I'll go to the parlor, this will be my to-do this day.

I crouched down to reach one toe and see how bad it looks.

It's..

Well  _ embarrassing _ .

Wait

I've felt like.. I've... This is..

I craned my neck to find that there is a black cat right before my eyes.

What the..

**" FUUUUUUCK!!!!"** I screamed as soon as I seen those same bluish-grey eyes and I instantly hopped on my bed, grasped for my night lamp and toss it to the cat.

It hopped away, dodging the lamp and made its way to the door which I found widely open.

He ran and disappeared so fast.

I was breathing heavily, heart pounding as I looked back and forth to the door and to the lamp.

What just happened?

What did I just do? 

I blinked like I noticed I wasn't blinking these past few moments. I can feel my body was really shaken up for an early time like this.

I started to calm down a bit as I silently crawl out from the bed and picked up the poor misshapen lamp and use it as some of a weapon

I sneaked to the door and scanned the place.

I unknowingly dropped my so called weapon to find my little apartment messed up.

**"What happened? "** I asked more likely to myself.

I picked up my weapon and investigated my apartment a little further.

Sigh

It is not really that 'messed up'. I was just exaggerating things. Maybe because of the weird happenings from earlier..

But why is my apartment partly messy?

I try to remember what happened last night..

Oh.

I mentally slapped my head and cussed myself for overlooking such events.

I'm drunk last night from a friend's party.

I can clearly recall that I tried to make popcorn even though I'm really dizzy that time.

I also frustratingly tried to hold a cup the way he did and I broke numerous glasses just to imitate how he is doing it...

_ How he is doing it. _

I slumped at the door frame...

I started to cry and I was wiping my face, hardly trying to stop threatening tears to fall.

I hugged my knees and guessed they were unstoppable and I found myself crying again.

Over and over.

I went to someone just to be drunk and be wasted and all so that I could forget that his death anniversary is today.

**"I was such a jerk."** I whispered to myself and believed that statement.

Did I just plan to forget this day? I was not really trying to add to my remorse but I can't help but to blame myself.

I lost him because of me.

_ All because of me! _

Oh, Levi.

How I wish you to be  _ here  _ with me, try to soothe things out and tell me that everything was going to be okay until I stop crying but..

**"I HATE YOU!"** I shouted.

I  _ hate _ you for leaving me behind. You are a self-centered man and so inconsiderate!

I hate  _ you  _ for making me feel this way. 

But..

I hate myself more for feeling like I  _ let  _ you go.

For letting you  _ go. _

Now I'm all messed up. 

I'm more a mess than the ceiling you've been trying to clean without gaining a painful stiff-neck.

If I stayed a little bit longer on that day, on that spot, on that time and if I  _ held _ my hope  _ a little bit more... _

**"I WON'T BE FUCKING REGRETTING LIKE THIS!"**

And yet I knew I was getting nowhere.

My life is pointless, for now..?

I don't know.

I stand up, trying to mask the hurt, the tears, the regret, and the love that's been all I have. The memories, his hugs, his strong hands, his shortness, his....

_ him. _

I'm missing him so much more than my parents. I love him more than myself.

And I cant fucking move on with my life.

It has been a year since he died. And yet here I am, not still moving, stuck in the past.

Because I cant really face the reality, the fact that he died ad the fucking  _ fact _ that I will be seeing him no more! I'm afraid to admit that I  _ wont _ get to touch him  _ ever _ again.

The dreams, my dreams, those were not fucking dreams. Those were playbacks.

All I have been doing since he died is to go to the beach, wait and wait. I'm waiting for him.

I should be waiting for him!

We talked about this and that I should wait.

that I don’t need to fucking tell him that I’m  _ going _ because I grew impatient.

If I didn't text him that, maybe..

_ Maybe _ ..

He didn't rush to cross the road and got...

Oh fuck.

He mustn't have hit by that stupid truck!

I didn't bother to fix things up and I went to my room, get dressed. 

I didn't even bother to brush my teeth nor wash my face or clean myself.

I'm going stir-crazy.

I need to go to the beach.

Levi must be  _ waiting _ for me. 

I'm afraid he might get  _ impatient _ , and leave me too..

_ Like I left him. _ .

_ NO! _ No, that's not gonna happen.

I got my car keys and locked my apartment.

I straightaway hopped in the car and started its engine.

I drove fast and I didnt know that I was leading my way correctly to that place and I surprisingly got there safe and uninjured.

I immediately got out and didn't even bother to close the door.

I was panicking, worried and nervous.

I searched the beach with teary eyes and I cried to find no one.

I ran to the same spot but to my suprise, I found myself so weak, I felt like my knees were giving up to my weight but I didn't care.

I still ran, fast as I could and reached for the same spot, mercily.

I stand there and look.

I searched.

I was expecting..

And there it was...

As I looked to the sky that was kissing the horizon, there I saw the group of clouds that looked bluish-grey.

Those are his eyes. 

I will never forget those.

I hold onto those.

I slowly walked, I aimed for it. 

I extended my hand.

Crying and mumbling.

I couldn't hear myself but I wanna say  _ that I wont leave, I'll wait. I'm here now. Things wont go wrong. I promise. _

I continue walking not minding the water rising up my hips

I hold onto those eyes.

This time I didnt blink.

I don't.

AND I won't

I continued and I found myself under the water but still I held onto those eyes.

They are so clear even under the water. They are so lovely, even under here.

I stayed there for god knows how  _ long. _

But I felt like they were getting far. They are going away.

NO! NO! NO! Don't go!

I tried to climb up, but there's something pushing me back.

_ Levi, no don't. Don't leave me.. _

I tried to shout but was hushed by the water now entering my system.

Then I found him on my side, smiling. 

His smile makes me feel safe. 

Like everything is alright.

Like everything's gonna be perfectly fine.

I hugged him, tight and rested my head to the crook of his neck. I found him.

_ Thank god I found him. _

I found him, finally. I promise I won't leave again. I smiled, and I chose to stay there,  _ forever _ .

  
  
  



End file.
